Experiences of a med student with an incurable travel bug.

Valentine’s Limericks

I generally have no use for the overly-commercialized card-and-candy holiday of forced affection, but last week I caved to Valentine-writing frenzy. The following limericks/poems are the product of too much fondue and craft supplies; I blame it on the glue. These are mostly my creations, though credit goes out to a few other dirty minds for helping to polish them off. If you’re easily offended/disgusted, I suggest that you stop reading now. If you find humor in lewd, crude nonsense, read on!

I Love Your…Mind

You cheer me up when things are shitty
Because your mind is just so witty.
It’s stuck in the gutter
So I know you won’t shudder
When I say that I just love your titties!

 

S & M

Sometimes our lives can be rough
But soon you will meet someone buff
Now do not fret,
You’ll get very wet
And spend all your time in handcuffs!

 

Breathless

You knocked all the air out my lung
It is to my soul you have sung
My breath it gets caught
And my pants get so taut
It is all because you’re so hung.

 

Neural I Need

Your PNS makes me excited
Your hypoglossal keeps me delighted
I hope that it’s mutual, not just ipsi
Or we’ll have to go out and get tipsy.

 

Spreading the Love

You know I could not love you more
Even though you can be such a whore
Rest assured that the lesions
Will pass with the seasons
And your core will no longer be sore.

Comments on: "Valentine’s Limericks" (2)

  1. mrs.set.element said:

    Hahahaha!!!! Did I ever tell you that my sister writes greeting cards? Sending this along to her…

  2. :-D Awesome. If I find these on greeting cards I expect some royalties. This could be a great loan repayment plan.

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